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Thread: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

  1. The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #1
    Eat less, move more. Hoops2895 will become famous soon enough Hoops2895's Avatar
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    we understand that the movie was terrible, but damm...it didn't deserve this kind of criticism..

    We often criticize Bollywood for churning out movies that make no sense. But after you've watched MARIGOLD, you'd agree that Hollywood churns out bigger turkeys.

    MARIGOLD, directed by American director Willard Carroll, is as off-putting as a week-old omelette. In fact, MARIGOLD has nothing to keep your eyeballs glued to the screen. An apology of a story, a powerless screenplay, shoddy visual effects, poor music and nightmarish direction, that's the ideal description of MARIGOLD. No redeeming aspects? Nothing, except for a pretty looking Ali Larter.

    Seriously, what were the makers thinking when they okayed this amateurish piece of writing? Look at the kind of cinema being churned out in India today. Good, bad, whatever, it's better than MARIGOLD.

    In a nutshell, MARIGOLD is a classic case of 'Bad Cinema'. This one deserves to be watched by every director for understanding what not to make. One big yawn!

    MARIGOLD is about a young American woman who travels to India and finds that her life is transformed in the most unexpected ways by her experiences and adventures there.

    American actress Marigold [Ali Larter] arrives in India with no luggage and a bad attitude. Stranded in Goa when financing for her low-budget Hollywood movie falls apart, Marigold finds herself cast in a small role in a Bollywood musical. Eager to prove herself, she enlists the aid of Prem [Salman Khan], the film's choreographer. Marigold is most definitely not a natural dancer, but she experiences renewed confidence and growing love for Prem.

    In rapid succession, Marigold discovers that Prem will be marrying a beautiful India girl Janvi [Nandana Sen]. Unable to deal with this development, Marigold angrily departs from Prem's family estate. But she is urged back by Janvi who confesses that Prem doesn't love her and never will.

    Another complication arises in the form of Marigold's boyfriend, Barry [Ian Bohen], who arrives in India unexpectedly and finds Marigold very much in love with Prem.

    MARIGOLD disappoints on Level 1 itself. The storyline brings back memories of the forgettable stuff that dominated Hindi cinema in the 1970s. Thanks to a poor plotline, what unravels in the next 2 hours is as spiceless as boiled food. There's not a single moment in the film that makes you jump with joy or pine for the lovers.

    The writing is so inane and amateurish that you actually pinch yourself, Is this for real? Are you actually watching a film or watching a bad dream? That's applicable for Willard Carroll's direction as well. Without doubt, 'The Razzie' for 2007 should be awarded to Mr. Carroll. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy's music is of fast-forward quality. Anil Mehta's cinematography is alright, although the D.O.P. isn't in form here. The production design/sets are tacky.

    Salman Khan is terrible and so is his dialogue delivery. What were you saying in the movie, Mr. Khan? Were you chewing beetle nut? His lines are hardly audible. Also, he tries hard to ape the American accent, but falls flat. Ali Larter is as fresh as Marigold, the flower, not the movie. Her performance is quite interesting.

    Vikas Bhalla is pure teakwood. So is Roopak Saluja -- absolutely wooden. Suchitra Pillai does well. Nandana Sen is unintentionally funny. Rakesh Bedi makes you laugh, for the right reasons. Vijayendra Ghatge and Kiran Juneja seemed to have walked out of the sets of DHARAM-VEER. And what was Gulshan Grover doing in this film? Ian Bohen adds to the list of non-actors.

    On the whole, MARIGOLD is a terrible film with gloomy prospects. A sure-shot disaster!
    Reviewed by Taran Adarsh from Bollywood Online on IndiaFM : India's premier Bollywood portal
    Last edited by Hoops2895; 08-17-2007 at 07:02 PM.
     
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  2. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

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    Senior Member....Beotch!! Sandeep Kumar is on a distinguished road Sandeep Kumar's Avatar
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    hahahahahahahahahah oh man i love it, I hate bollywood actors, they're so horrible and a malicious side of my loves seeing them fail when they try to cross over (ahem, ahem asharwaria rai)... stay in bollywood people, where you guys have made so many horrible films, u've convinced people that nothing exists overwise.

    I know some bollywood heads are goin to defend this, but seriously people u can't honestly tell me that the cheesy bollywood actors could compete in hollywood
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  3. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #3
    beat u up? Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy has much to be proud of Dizzy's Avatar
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    salman khan film review that sucks?!?! SHOCKER!
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  4. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

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    <insert whitty title> ashis g is on a distinguished road ashis g's Avatar
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  5. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #5
    everything sounds better TeReKeTe is on a distinguished road TeReKeTe's Avatar
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    if the film was that bad, it deserves to be reviewed as such.
     
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  6. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #6
    Omnipotent Member VDiddy is on a distinguished road VDiddy's Avatar
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    theres something about a pure thoroughbred bollywood hindi movie that works like magic, but just comes off as looking stupid if you apply it to hollywood cinema. i dont think you can mix and match the two like this
     
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  7. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

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    Moderator mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522's Avatar
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    I'm actually surprised that it got a good review, I've read hollywood critics review bollywood movies and give them pretty ok reviews just for the fact that bollywood movies have their own style and is different in some ways to the hollywood market making the movie seem "original" when bollywood actually churns like 200 of these same exact movies every year. I'm glad that they bashed the movie as bad as they did, I don't even have to watch the movie to agree with what they said, bollywood actors WILL NOT make it into hollywood just because they suck that much, except for maybe one or two...
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  8. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

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    LBCer zibasanjay is on a distinguished road zibasanjay's Avatar
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    Hey Aish still has to prove herself with Last Legion, she definitely has a better chance than most, she has the right Talent Agency behind her. And I think that the reviews are a bit generous because they treat it like a different genre. I mean its same for chinese version movie, you cant adopt an American movie conceit to them when they are culturally totally different

    And random sentence, am I the only one to not know that Ben Kingsley is actually part indian?
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  9. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #9
    Wifey DewDropS is just really nice DewDropS is just really nice DewDropS is just really nice DewDropS is just really nice DewDropS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zibasanjay View Post

    And random sentence, am I the only one to not know that Ben Kingsley is actually part indian?
    I didn't know that either until just a few weeks ago.
     
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  10. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #10
    Eat less, move more. Hoops2895 will become famous soon enough Hoops2895's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mbeatz522 View Post
    I'm actually surprised that it got a good review, I've read hollywood critics review bollywood movies and give them pretty ok reviews just for the fact that bollywood movies have their own style and is different in some ways to the hollywood market making the movie seem "original" when bollywood actually churns like 200 of these same exact movies every year. I'm glad that they bashed the movie as bad as they did, I don't even have to watch the movie to agree with what they said, bollywood actors WILL NOT make it into hollywood just because they suck that much, except for maybe one or two...

    oh my bad...sorry to break it to ya buddy, but this movie was reviewed by an indian critic...my fault, i forgot to say what the source is..srry


    Quote Originally Posted by zibasanjay View Post
    Hey Aish still has to prove herself with Last Legion,
    i was gonna mention that, too after reading Sandeep's post...it looks awesome from the promos...her accent blends in because its supposed to be some sort of war movie in which they speak old english..it should be interesting

    Quote Originally Posted by VDiddy View Post
    theres something about a pure thoroughbred bollywood hindi movie that works like magic, but just comes off as looking stupid if you apply it to hollywood cinema. i dont think you can mix and match the two like this
    that is completely true..
    Last edited by Hoops2895; 08-17-2007 at 07:04 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
     
    Quote Originally Posted by VDiddy View Post
    Sometimes I wear a bulletproof vest when Djing punjabi or malu receptions in case I play the wrong song.
    Quote Originally Posted by IMYankeeFanSoFU View Post
    Don't work to get rich, work to get satisfaction that's what makes you rich.
    Reply With Quote 
  11. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #11
    Moderator mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522 is a splendid one to behold mbeatz522's Avatar
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    ^ Oh ok lol my bad but all the better then, an Indian finally realizes how retarded a bollywood movie can be
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  12. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #12
    Eat less, move more. Hoops2895 will become famous soon enough Hoops2895's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mbeatz522 View Post
    ^ Oh ok lol my bad but all the better then, an Indian finally realizes how retarded a bollywood movie can be
    it isn't a bollywood movie...it was directed by an american guy, Willard Carroll, and stars Ali Carter (girl from Final Destination)

    movie is in English, but has a couple bollywood songs and was released in the indian market, not here

    the director said he saw a bollywood movie, Chori Chori Chupke Chupke (Salman, Rani, Preity) a couple years ago and he fell in love with it, and apparantly, also with Salman Khan lol
    Last edited by Hoops2895; 08-17-2007 at 07:34 PM.
     
    Quote Originally Posted by VDiddy View Post
    Sometimes I wear a bulletproof vest when Djing punjabi or malu receptions in case I play the wrong song.
    Quote Originally Posted by IMYankeeFanSoFU View Post
    Don't work to get rich, work to get satisfaction that's what makes you rich.
    Reply With Quote 
  13. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #13
    LBCer DJ R-pan is on a distinguished road DJ R-pan's Avatar
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    ^a couple american theaters playing it around here. i was skimming the paper and i saw the ad for it, i was kinda confused seeing ali larter.
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  14. Re: The WORST Movie Review You've Ever Read!

    #14
    LBCer avisha is on a distinguished road avisha's Avatar
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    wait its aactually a hollywood film?

    i thought it was an indian one with a white lady..hmm
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